school project by A. Another Adult

How long is it since you last worked on a school art project? You know, the type which requires air-dry clay, plasticine and a quantity of some properly sticky glue. Only a week ago, a few of you might cry. Well, you’re the ones I want to listen to this week’s rant…

…because I’m fascinated by the sheer intensity and single-mindedness of your efforts. Yes YOU. Not the 7-year-old in question who is standing by your side, mystified by your energy, ambition and fired-up competitivity. He had thought that his assembled pyramid had been perfect. Maybe even bonus-worthy. But no! You have bigger, grander, better plans.Art shops are raided, kitchens rearranged…. This Egyptian scene (due in at the end of the month) needs to be THE BEST. It must blow all others out of the River Nile’s muddy waters.

And so that promotion at work and the latest private equity deal pale into insignificance. This Cairo must be built in a day. Gold paint is sloshed around to reflect the Egyptian grandeur (as well as your ambition) and perhaps some glitter as a finishing touch? Mummies (real ones), Sphinx, perfectly formed camels, temples and pyramids…. no-one must touch.

The whole family looks on in relief. The job is done and your tension abates. Your house insurance doesn’t cover any potential damage to this (particular) work of art so you decide to hand it in early. Now all you have to do is pass it off as his.

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